We all know the universe has a twisted sense of humour at the best of times, but it must have been having a particularly bad day when it decided to come up with these bizarre animals.
1. BlobfishFirst up on the list is the aptly named Blobfish. The best way I can describe this thing is by asking you to remember those old Wild West movies. Remember how everyone was always spitting their chewing tobacco into those metal bins? Well, imagine you looked into the bin after a couple of hours. What you’re looking at is basically a massive slimy blob of phlegm and snot. Throw in a two googly-eyes and use some lipstick to draw a mouth like the Joker’s. That is essentially your Blobfish.
It’s a pretty lazy animal too. It doesn’t even waste energy swimming. Found at the bottom of the sea near Australia and Tasmania, its largely gelatinous body allows it to just float on the sea floor, swallowing any edible matter that happens to float in front of it. You cannot get lazier than that.
2. Proboscis MonkeySecond is the Proboscis Monkey. Also known as Long-Nosed Monkeys, these are located in the South-East Asian island of Borneo. Imagine a normal sized monkey with a massive beer-gut and a deflated balloon attached to its face. They usually just hang high in the trees and don’t come down unless they’re looking for food.
They eat mainly leaves and seeds but due to their diet, they’ve developed a large belly. At least, that’s what scientists tell us. But we know the truth; this is one binge-drinking monkey.
3. Glass FrogIn late 2007, in the Hiroshima University, some scientists were ecstatic that they had created a translucent frog. What they didn’t know was that in Venezuela, there existed a (hipster) Glass Frog which was translucent before it was cool.
It’s easy to see (or is it?) that this frog isn’t very easy to hunt since it’s mostly active at night and is relatively small, only ranging from 3 to 7.5 centimetres. If you’re ever lucky enough to find one, get close enough and you might actually see its heart beating.
4. Philippine TarsierThe Philippine Tarsier got its name from the fact that it has really long tarsus bones in its feet. Its fingers are also elongated and the third finger is roughly the same size as its upper arm. But none of that matters because the thing you’ll notice first is its eyes – they’re 16 mm in diameter and are as large as its entire brain!
This creature may look cute, but it is not to be messed with. Not only will it flip you the finger, but it’s the only entirely carnivorous primate still alive, meaning it attacks birds, snakes, bats and lizards. Judging by the size of its eyes, it must have been strapped to a chair and forced to watch the entire Twilight Saga. I suppose that would explain why it attacks bats.
5. Yeti CrabThe Yeti crab is a recently discovered animal which lives in the South Pacific Ocean. The Yeti crab looks like it’s always wearing the bright yellow crab-mittens its grandmother gave it for Christmas one year. It’s roughly 15 cm long and its pincers contain bacteria which it can use to clean the water around its body. It usually eats green algae and small shrimp.
6. Star Nosed Mole
The Star Nosed Mole must have jumped straight out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. It looks as if its head just got blown up, an effect made even more realistic by the pink tentacles stretched out on its nose. This weird creature is found in Canada and in the north-eastern part of the US. The name comes from its strange nose (which is more like a squished octopus attached to its face than a nose). The tentacles on the nose help the mole find snails, molluscs, worms, and other small creatures it likes to eat. They probably see it coming and die laughing, allowing the mole to simply walk up and gobble them up.
7. Angora RabbitThe Angora rabbit is an animal that seems to have an eternally bad hair day. One of oldest types of rabbit in the world, it’s bred for its long, soft, silky hair. This is a very high maintenance animal since it needs to be sheared every few months. Apparently, their long fur can cause these rabbits to sometimes overheat. And we all know there’s nothing worse than having a rabbit melt on your carpet.
8. Hungarian KomondorThe Hungarian Komondor, known as the Komodorok, is essentially a pile of spaghetti with eyes. The entire body of the dog is covered by dense, white strands of hair, giving it the look of a gigantic mop with legs. However, its coat is especially useful in protecting the dog against predators and extreme weathers.
The Komondor is extremely fast and agile, so it is usually used as a guard dog to protect flocks of sheep from predators such as other dogs, wolves, and coyotes. Because it’s not a hero. It’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A dark white knight.
9. Sea PigNumber nine on the list is the Sea Pig, which looks nothing like a pig. What it does look like is as if someone decided to detach a cow’s udders and give it eyes. These weird creatures are found in oceans all over the world and are usually 10cm long. They eat deep-sea mud particles and don’t really do much. One cool thing is that they can actually inflate and deflate their tentacles at will.
10. Aye-AyeLast on the list is the world’s largest nocturnal primate: the Aye-Aye. It’s found in Madagascar and acts like a primate version of a woodpecker. It taps on trees to find food, expertly cuts a hole into the tree using its teeth, and then uses its elongated finger to snatch out the grub and eat it.
Unfortunately, these creatures were considered to be bad luck and were hunted down. Although, let’s be honest: if you look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, you can hardly be expected to bring good luck, can you?